Idiots In The Morning : an Akatsuki Yaoi Tale
by iBrokenEmotion
Summary: well; you'll just have to read to find out ;D dedicated to: Hailey-chan :3
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

The shafts of sunlight slowly crept along the walls, hour-by-hour, until their inevitable cast fell onto a still form. It twitched, slowly raising a hand to slowly pull the covers from the form. Hidan looked out, wincing as the light painfully caught in his eyes. His breath light, and throat parched, he heaved his stiff legs over the edge of his little bed. Hidan swayed, his head light from still being partially asleep. Feeling a need for a quick drink, he made his way past the cluttered floor and to the door. He barely was able to touch his fingers to the knob, when suddenly, "Hidan-chan! You're _awake!_"

Deidara had the door already open, a smirk placed sarcastically upon his features. Groaning, Hidan began an interrogation, "Why are you up so early? What _time _did you get up?" Deidara shrugged casually, his skin-tight fishnets moving with his thin form. "Four," he looked down, his bright eyes still keeping their focus with Hidan's. Aghast, Hidan looked down at him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you-" "Well, alright; four as of _yesterday_.. I don't really sleep much.."

Hidan's eyes narrowed in mutiny at Deidara's sleeping habits. "You have issues, Deidara-chan. Big ones." Walking out of the room into the hall, he closed the door with a slam. "Hey, Deidara, do we have any rice cakes left? You know, the glazed ones that are round and kinda flat?" Deidara raised his head at his questions, looking up to fully meet his pink gaze. "Um, no. I ate them for a snack last night.. It was either that or, well, that stuff Kisame likes to eat."

Deidara felt Hidan's intense gaze borring down into his. "Deidara you little shit!" Hidan raised an arm as if to strike, and Deidara knew his cue all too well for when he pissed off Hidan. He quickly was ahead of him, feet pounding down the halls, curses streaming from Hidan. "I'm gonna kick your sorry little ass, Deidara!" Deidara looked over his shoulder slightly, almost laughing at Hidan's enraged face and moving lips. "Wait til I catch up you little fucker! I'll beat my cakes out of you, you little shity teenager!"

His hand jerked out, barely catching the edge of the wall as he was flung around the corner, still ahead of Hidan. As he ran, Deidara took the chances he had to pound on the walls or doors of the other members to wake them from their sleep; if Hidan's big mouth hadn't already. "You won't get me, Hidan-chan! You're too slow and bitchy!" Deidara laughed sarcastically and psychotically, almost as though mimicing Hidan.

Huffing and puffing, Hidan roared in rage at the fast blonde. "Shut the hell up, dipshit! You little pussy!" His feet seemed to slam into the ground, alot louder then Deidara's cheeky prance. Hidan looked through the corner of his eye, noting that he had just passed Itachi's room. That meant Deidara had passed Kisame's. It was only a corridor or two until they would be in the kitchen, and there he would have Deidara cut-off from any quick escapes. Smiling deviously at his scheme, he continued his rant, "Son of a bitch! Your pretty little Barbie-ass is almost out of places to run and hide now!"

Knowing the inevitable end, Deidara began thinking of ways to evade Hidan. With any luck, someone would be in the kitchen already. Leaping over a little mat to mark Zetsu's room, he quickly dashed to make it to the end of the corridor and into the kitchen. He could see the light from the open window, and could feel a breeze sweeping down the hall from it as well. It brushed against his face, and then he had leapt the last of the spaces between he and the open room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hidan saw Deidara's foot as he had quickly leapt into the kitchen, and knew soon he would be able to catch him in his grasp once more. Then, he would be able to nearly murder him with insults and indignations until he would have his food back.

Deidara nearly crashed into the table at his momentum, the only thing stopping him being the two forms sitting or stadning. Itachi was eating rice and sipping tea on a cushion by one of the little tables. By the window, Sasori was in his actual form gazing outside, his hair blowing lightly in the breeze. Deidara's hopes escalated to joy at the sight of the two; maybe they would side with him against Hidan. Yet by causing such disturbance, Sasori and Itachi had already known he had been coming and were staring at him and the door, in turn, expectantly. Thinking quickly, Deidara made his way over to Sasori, clambering between the open space made by Sasori and the sill, in fetal position.

"Now I have you mother-fucker!" Hidan exploded into the room, an evil grin plastered all over his face. Itachi rolled his eyes, and Sasori smirked at the two's imbasilic behaviour. Deidara whispered to Sasori, waving his hand lightly as if to explain his meaning furthur. "Help me, Sasori-kun. You wouldn't let him kill me, would you?" Sasori sighed, "No.. fine, I'll help you with your ignorant scheme." He rose, walking over to the panting and muttering Hidan.

"What do you want puppet? I see you're helping that doll as usual." He peeked over Sasori's shoulder, looking directly at the watching and smirking figure on the window. Deidara stuck his tongue out, grunting his usual 'hmm'. Sasori sighed, "Well. I can't help it. I'm paired with him, and I honestly don't want him to die and then I'll be stuck with another Orochimaru again." Hidan laughed slightly as Deidara gave the back of Sasori's head an angry middle-finger and silent threat.

Itachi sipped his tea, watching the scene like he was watching a movie or something in the theatre. Sasori looked around Hidan through the door as another form was coming up the hall and toward the kitchen. It yelled in a deep voice to the group, "What are the idiots causing now?" Hidan spun around, triumph on his face. "Kakuzu-kun! You must be on my side!" He spun back around to the pair, his eyes slitted in arrogance and a feel of self-satisfaction. He looked at the wide-eyed Deidara, muttering to him, "You're dead."

"Hidan, _move_." Kakuzu gripped his shoulder, shoving and nearly throwing him out of the way so he could stand before Sasori. Hidan nearly fell, gripping the wall decor for support. Deidara snickered, and Hidan gave him a glare of hate. "What did the moron do this time?" Kakuzu looked almost bored with the routine as he questioned the much shorter Sasori. "Well, I'm not entirely sure. I just know that Hidan wants to randomly kill Deidara. I suppose if Deidara was rested as well, he wouldn't be so childish and would have been wanting to murder Hidan."

Letting out a very preppy 'ugh,' Hidan glared at them all. Deidara grunted in irritation as well. Itachi; he just laughed and sipped his tea, daintily plucking pieces and clomps of rice while enjoying the moment. "I see," Kakuzu nodded, "well if Hidan killed Deidara we would have problems. Yet if Deidara killed Hidan I'd be alright; as long as I recieved decent pay." Sasori's bored expression turned to a smile as he thought of it. He remembered how Kakuzu would always kill his partners in fits of rage. At least now he could kill his immortal partner and all he would have to do is sew him back together.

"Well then it's settled." Sasori turned his back to Kakuzu, walking back toward the window and Deidara. "What?! You guys didn't do shit!" Hidan protested angrily, feeling the situation unjust. Kakuzu sighed, "How did I ever get stuck pairing with such an annoyance? Oh," he turned to Hidan, "what were you children fighting about?"

Hidan's expression turned blank, "Well... I-I don't really remember.." He looked down, feeling like a moron. Deidara popped up from his hiding place by Sasori and pointed to an empty bag on the counter, "Your rice cakes. Hmm." He smirked with his eyes slitted slightly, having the upper-hand. Hidan turned red in the face as he realized how he could of forgotten so sudden. A rumble omitted from his core, signalling it was time those cakes should have been in his core.

Kakuzu and Sasori laughed quietly at the two, reminding themselves mentally that eventually they would stop being nuissances. "Well," Itachi rose from his seat with an empty bowl of rice, an empty cup, and a pair of chopsticks, "I've had an interesting watch this morning. Don't let anything else idiotic and pointless happen until I'm there to see it again, 'kay?" He let the sarcasm drip from his tone, a smartallicky smile placed upon his lips.


End file.
